The sweatshirt business just might be a good venture, don't you think?. Don't know what will become of it, but I hear it's a blast. Probably. I have some ideas so we'll see what develops in the near future. Did you know you can sell your ideas and concepts? Provided someone wants to buy them. There's always a catch, right?
Already had some business interactions but I don't think it's anything to talk about for right now. I have come to learn that there is no such thing as a definite. An interest is an interest and an idea is just that, an idea. People are gonna do what they want to do in the end so, never hold your breath. (You'll only turn blue in the face.) But you never know, sometimes the simplest idea can turn into a million dollar baby. Confused? Well, it's a Bryant thing. You wouldn't understand. (Ha-ha)
Ultimately, I'd rather spend my time trying to do something constructive if I can. Or coming up with zingers like .... "After having a heart-attack, my goal is to make it through this year alive .... or die trying." LOL Come on, that was funny. Or maybe this ...."I want to make someone laugh until they die, and never let anyone know it was I who killed them. O_o The perfect crime. O_O" You see, I am a riot these days, and not just another dumb blonde bimbo.
I have had some family issues of late. Turns out I am now an orphan. I'm not going to let it get me down. I will keep my spirits up. But family is not always in the blood - but rather whom you carry in your heart. I realize that there is probably no such thing as a "perfect family", still, I think I can do better. At least, I deserve better. Anyhow, I spent 20 years putting up with some stupid shit that most people wouldn't have put up with for a moment. It's just time to make some more changes in my life.
Just found out that the new "Redbone" band has been singing my song "I
Want Your Love" live at the "Bimbos Night Club" located in North Beach
in San Francisco, California. Parts of one of their performances of my
song can be heard on a January 4th, 2015 "Chance To Have It All" radio
show (KCLA). (They spelled my name "Carole" Bryant.) lol I should have
just called myself Bob Smith. Haha That is pretty cool though. Below is a
link to that specific show if anyone cares to wanna hear it. Thanks to
Pat Vegas and the gang for singing. Glad you like the song.
I'll be putting up another page for the "Chance to Have It All" charity, just give me a little time. I took the old page down because I am done with my donation run. But I still believe in the "Chance To Have It All" idea. (And I just love Pat and Acela to pieces.) LOL
Really been missing fantasy football. It's always like this though when the season ends. (Especially when I had such an awesome season.) I go through my with-drawls every year. Soon, the Superbowl will come and pass and I'll be looking forward to the free agent portion of the off season, and hope Dallas and Tampa Bay sign someone worthy to help them win games next year. Then I will look forward to the draft. After that, and before I know it, it will be time to draft again for fantasy football. Hopefully this time, I don't have another heart-attack when the season begins again. Also hopefully, my family will come to their senses and we can get this problem between us rectified. I've learned a long time ago not to hold my breath. Then again, I am a blonde bimbo. I am always an optimistic who is addicted to being wrong about people. Or something to that effect. I have also learned that when someone pushes you away, don't fight it. Just go with the flow. Don't be a bimbo about it.
Joe: "The old lady took the kids and stayed overnight at her mom and dads. I got the place to myself tonight."
Me: "I see."
Joe: "Dude, I'm jamming to Taylor Swift."
Me: "I can hear. A little loud isn't it?"
Joe: "Can never be too loud for Taylor Swift."
Me: "Yeah, no, it can. Trust me."
Joe: "You don't like Taylor Swift, do you?"
Me: "Never met her."
Joe: "I mean her music."
Me: "No, I don't listen to her music."
Joe: "You're a hater."
Me: "You don't listen to Rick Springfield, do you?"
Me: "You're a hater."
Joe: "Point made. But you still don't like her. You think she's ugly."
Me: "You asked me if I thought she was pretty and I said "I am not
attracted to her if that's what you're asking." I never told you I
thought she was ugly."
Joe: "You told Gary there wasn't enough beers when he asked you how many it would take before doing her."
Me: "Are you sure I told Gary that or did you only hear it from Gary? But I didn't tell you that, did I?"
Joe: "Point made. Dude, I am so rocking out right now."
Me: "No, you're not rocking out. That's not rock."
Joe: "Taylor Swift or Rick Springfield, which one would you do?"
Me: "Those are my only 2 choices?"
Me: "Rick Springfield."
Joe: "What's not to like about her?"
Me: "I don't like her eyes, they freak me out. Her face is so pale, and that's with her usual ton of make-up. I mean, what's under all of that crap? Is she 'Night of the Living dead' under there? Her body is too boyish, and she has no ass. She can't dance. In all of her interviews she is always, "Me, me, me." Dude, she just looks malnourished."
Joe: "Don't hold nothing back. Tell me how you really feel."
Me: "But hey, if you like her."
Joe: "Do you even like any female singers of today?"
Me: "I'm a Miley guy. And Selena Gomez. Zendaya."
Joe: "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You like trailer trash."
Me: "Touche'. Although I take offense to Zendaya. She's classy."
Joe: "Agreed. She never dated Justin or performs her concerts 90% naked."
Me: "Did you just throw-up?"
(Another Long Pause)
Joe: "Dude, seriously? You would do Rick Springfield over Taylor Swift?"
I have decided to change the title of my journal to "journey". (Not to be mistaken for one of the greatest rock bands ever!) The reason for this is probably because I am going insane and needed to do something to validate that feeling.
When I was younger, I was never one to get much involved with politics. In hindsight, I wish I would have because it is all screwed up. Sometimes I think that if I had gotten more involved there would be more people with commonsense. Then again, sometimes I feel like I am the only one in America who isn't stupid or a communist / socialist. But that's only because I don't belong to any democratic or republican group. Nor do I belong to any church or religion so I also do not have to be bound by religious rules or ways of life. I am pretty much a free man. I think for myself and not for any organization. A true free spirit. I'm the only one who tells me what to believe. I wish everyone could feel how good that is.
On the medical front; My heart is still beating so .... that's good, I guess. I think. No, of course it is good. Been having a wonderful time playing with Caden and the twins over the holidays. Little Atley is a handful. He is always smiling and laughing and making funny faces. He loves it when uncle Carz holds him. He's taken fond of me it seems. Precious Paisley is a little reserved. She has a select few of people she allows to hold her for now. So it would seem that the ambitious, if not rambunctious, one is Atley. He is the "dreamer" of the two and Paisley is the "down to earth" one. The conservative. While Atley will just jump right into things without a care, Paisley wants to dip her toes in the water first. She's the reasonable one.
I guess the extension of my life was worth it to be there for all of their birthdays and especially the twins first birthday. And again, the holidays were great. But I was supposed to get some heart tests done this month and was going to get the results of those tests on Feb. 11th, my next doctor appointment. However, I got to thinking that maybe I didn't want to know if my heart was getting better, worse or staying about the same. Seriously, do I really want to know if my heart is getting worse? And that I should get on a list? The fact is, I would never put my name on a list at this stage in the game. I think any good donor heart should go to someone young who has a lot more years left to live than I. The younger the better. But that's just the way I feel about it so if I'm not even going to bother putting my name on a list then why worry about how well my heart is going? I mean, I know how I feel and I feel great. It's over four months since my last cigarette. I am proud of that accomplishment and even more prouder that I didn't need any stupid patches. I have always said, the best way to quit anything is to just stop doing it.
I want the rest of my life to be like the first part of my life, and be a surprise. What happens happens. I know the doctor wants to know but, he's just gonna have settle for a job well done to this point and let me continue building off the good things that have happened recently, and with my recovery. In fact, I feel so good that I challenged a 16 year football player to a race after he jokingly called me "old man". We raced a 40 (40 yard dash) on the football field with his father timing us both. The kid won but, only by a few feet. (About a yard.) In my defense, the kid dropped to the ground for a few moments and was huffing and puffing harder than I. Unfortunately, for the next few days after that race, I was restricted to house duty for soreness of muscles. (Ha-ha)
So my physical recovery time is a little longer than it used to be, that will all be rectified shortly with my new workout routine getting put together for the start of this Spring. Still, there are some people close to me who don't know quite what to think about my "not knowing" the condition of my heart.
I have always rubbed many the wrong way. Some think I do it on purpose, that I am a little hard or difficult or grizzled - rough around the edges - because I enjoy ticking people off. Okay, yeah, maybe, but .... I am also like I am and make things difficult sometimes to challenge others when I think they need challenging. I have parted ways with most of my young friends from Goodreads because it was in their best interest. Some friendships just weren't meant to be. The few who remain are highly intelligent and ambitious people who are unique in their own special way. They are on a higher level of thinking and living - the same level I lived on - and they are in the process of doing some great things. In the beginning stages anyway. Those are the people I love to watch fly because they will fly the highest. It's the crayzee ones who have the most fun.
There have been several people who have asked me how it really felt being so close to death. I tell you all that I have been in the clutches of death at least a dozen times throughout my life (for various reasons), and each time was the same - it was calm, not very painful at all, and in fact, dying and being so close to death has always felt like arms holding you as you go to sleep. It's very peaceful. It really is. Almost comforting. No, it is comforting. Then again, I am not afraid of dying so maybe it's just like that for me. And perhaps I am not afraid of death because I live free in my beliefs and in the knowledge of the universe. I don't know. But it is relaxing or at least, this last time around, it was very relaxing. The only thing that was hurting was my heart from the heart-attack. There's really nothing to fear, crossing over. It's just another part of the journey. The journey of Carz.
So I am back to my old self yet, new self at the same time. I am back to my usual no good things and my secret do-gooder things. I make some people feel like a million bucks and others to feel like they want to strangle me. Some times you have to treat people differently in order to treat them the same or I.E. to get the best out of them and them out of themselves. And sometimes, you got to stir the damn pot otherwise, stuff start to stick on the sides and the bottom and trust me ..... you don't want that. It will get you to start gowing crayzee.
P.S. - A short while ago I thought I would try something new - that something didn't quite last so long or work out as I thought it would. In short, I caved. Let's just say that non-sexual relationships are hard to wiggle through. But I found a new toy which to play. I also discovered a couple new things about the universe so 2015 looks pretty good from where I'm sitting. Always remember, you can't be having that much fun if you're not getting dirty. Cleaning up afterwards is the best part of getting dirty. (He-he)
Here is my advice for everyone - EAT MORE CRANBERRIES / DRINK MORE CRANBERRY JUICE.
wind that blows swiftly, as I sit in the grass in a field, offers mild
relief from the tortuous sun. I sit near a flower that is still growing
only to be picked one day, and to die in a fancy vase. Or just to die.
I remain sitting as I watch a bird fly. Where is it going? And why?
notice a squirrel and it too, notices me. We freeze simultaneously and
in an instant. I don't want to move a muscle because I don't want to
frighten him into scampering away. He doesn't want to move because he
doesn't want to die. A loud noise overtakes us both like thunder. This
startles the universe and the squirrel takes his chances on instinct and
races into oblivion, never to be seen again. His decision, this time,
pays off. He didn't die. But that moment did, and now I miss it. The
excitement and adrenaline was real, but I wasn't the one with the fear.
life, the beauty, and the many different worlds around me are not new
yet they are still foreign to me and some of my understanding.
bee, moving from flower to flower. The ants, scrambling like ants. And
the sounds of the day from cars, trucks and people make up what life has
created. A social cluster-fuck.
But I am relaxed right now and I think I will write it down in my notebook to reflect on someday.
Another season of fantasy football has come and gone. I only played ten teams this year. I have to say I had a very good year. As you can see in the picture to the left, nine of my teams made their league playoffs. The only team that didn't make it, New Mexico Scorpions, finished in 5th place.
Eight of my teams won their division. A new record for me. As is the fact that nine teams made the playoffs. The Columbus Bandits started the year 9-0, another record for me for most wins to start a season.
I also encountered a fantasy football bully named Frank Chavez. And yes, fantasy football has its bullies too. I think just about everything on the internet has its fair share of bullies. That's just the internet way of life. There are a lot of sad and lonely people out there who have nothing to live for and nobody to love so they take out their pain onto others on the computer. It's just the way it is. But yes, it is still sad to see. Unhappy people who want to make everyone else unhappy too.
Of my nine playoff teams, all of them made it to their league championship games. That's the good news. The bad news is ... only three of the nine won their league championship game. But three is better than zero, right?